Hello there Upper East Tate Hallers. Have I got a scoop for you.
Spotted: A Parker munching on salad with a side of chocolate cookies and banana pudding with Lil B, Fi and N at Golden Corral (ew!) on the Bronx side of town. Why so far from the Upper East Tate (UET), A? Looks like he's steering clear of the lit-aholics and academic elite UET. You can't hide forever, A. Didn't anyone ever tell you Golden Corral isn't meant for golden boys like you? The only corraling you should be doing is among the single femmes in the English department. We hope you find your way back to UET soon and stop hanging around with that sad, artsy, saccharine Dustineesha couple. Yawn. They're just so boring with all their talk of honeymoons and community theatre and Christmas songs. Don't you know fashion accessories like you belong on the arm of a yummy Taterhead? Come back to the UET, A! It's just not the same without you!
While the group had lunch, one of my sources tells me she overheard A mention a permanent departure from the UET! Say it ain't so, A! It just can't be true! First our resident hottie disappears and now that he's finally come back, it's only to announce his permanent impending departure? A girl can't find many single handsome boys these days (Hazel's practically throwing herself at the few that do exist) and it's unbecoming for a vixen such as yours truly to beg, but this girl can only say she hopes it's a nasty rumor. UET can't do with one less Parker. However will we survive?
Stay tuned for more A spottings and updates...
You know you love me.
PS-Dustin and Neesha Save the World will resume their ownership of this blog now.