Wedding Dress Introduction

The Wedding Planning Week has come to an end, just about. D and I leave tomorrow for Columbia and the rest of the semester and are feeling pretty good about what we've done so far. The only real problem is that I'm worried everything isn't as nailed down as I'd like it to be, but is it ever? 

Anyhow...here's more of a recap for you! Friday got up bright and early again and wandered over to the Atlanta Bread Company to meet Cathy Evangelista in person. Cathy is our videographer and we'd never met her in person before yesterday morning. I have to say, the videography wasn't my biggest concern. D and Mom did most of the research, interviewing (on the phone/email) and requests while I kept records and info (we've unknowingly fallen into various roles...as you can probably guess. I'm the one who has all the information and does all the follow-up work and keeping everyone straight and updated work-meaning vendors. We all make the decisions, especially based on what's most important to us regarding the wedding). I totally trusted their choice of videographer, but knew there needed to be a formal meet and talk session with me present. When we did finally sit down over some coffee Friday morning, D and I fell into our usual pattern of asking more about the person's life and, in Cathy's case, very musically inclined sons than asking questions about their work. I think this happens because we already chose them based on what they can do, now we want to have a relationship with them and know who they are and what's important to them. If any of our vendors seemed like ass holes or selfish, money-driven jerks, I think we wouldn't have stuck with them. We are all about having a group of vendors and people on our wedding team that feel like friends rather than just some people we hired and Cathy fell right into that category.

Afterwards, we headed over to the Big Bamboo so D could get a tee-shirt. While we were there, we had lunch at the fabulous seafood place, Steamer's, that I used to work at back in 2002. We mainly go for the amazing She-Crab soup, but their tuna bites are pretty incredible and so is just about everything else. While we had lunch out on the patio, we spotted Dustin's old colleague from the Hilton Head Airport, Austin. I don't really know Austin, but we seem to literally run into him every time we're home.

BUT...the MOST exciting part of yesterday, as wonderful as each moment was, was going to Bleu Belle Bridal to look for a veil. Mom and I entered, wandered around when I saw one of my three dress choices hanging in the samples rack and said, "This is one of the ones, Mom..." to which the salesgirl said: "Yeah, we just love her!" I found two veils I liked and they suggested I try on the sample of my dress with it (cus up until now they'd said my dress hadn't come in yet)...so I headed toward the dressing room and they quick covered my eyes, led me in and said: "Neesha, we'd like you to meet your wedding gown!" Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let me just tell you right now...it was AWESOME! I was so excited and my Mom cried a little, one of the salesgirls got "chills" and I couldn't wait to get that sucker on. It was so amazing. Even more amazing in person than I remember it being. Mom helped me into the dress, we tried the veil I liked most on with it and voila! The wedding day attire is complete. I even had the crazy idea to bring my shoes with me for whatever weird reason...and the only gown, shoes, veil...went together so well and I was so happy. What made me even HAPPIER was that the dress was a little too big on me so it needs to be taken in. Back in November when I tried that size on it was a perfect fit. Literally. Almost like they melted me and poured me into the gown, but this time...too big! Not huge, but too big and in need of adjusting. This is nice to know.

I stood in the dress for quite some time while Tammy, the seamstress, tried to figure out the best way to bustle it without losing any of the beautiful details of the gown. She played with it for about thirty minutes and my right foot started to get totally numb from standing in the new shoes with the heavy gown on...but, really, I would've stood their forever if they'd let me. There aren't many days I'm going to get to put on a wedding gown like that...I love it and I can't wait for you guys to see just why when you come to the wedding!

Before we left, I picked out some cute hair jewelry (who ever thought I would one day be thinking about hair jewelry!?!) and thanked the women profusely. I also dreamed about this Bronwin dress by Melissa Sweet and how much I'd love to wear it to the rehearsal dinner. I read somewhere that it's good luck to wear green to the rehearsal and, although I really want to wear white, think I'll make sure I've got some green shoes or something (I'm totally superstitious...I think it runs in the family). I figure I can find something like this Bronwin dress, though, and throw on some green heels. I saw a pair in some wedding magazine that were ridiculously adorable. If only this dress weren't so freaken ridiculously expensive. Damn Melissa Sweet. I will have to find a more reasonable dress that looks similar.

In other news, my bridesmaid Carrie dropped out, which wasn't all together unexpected. A lot has happened in the world and in families since D and I got engaged...for example, two or three of his groomsmen just had a new baby or are about to have a new baby. We're crossing our fingers they'll all be able to attend still! But, if not, we get it...and love them just the same.

Other than that, the week was a total success. I started this entry the other day and am finishing it now-back in Columbia, after our intensely long ride back yesterday. Still working on details from home...but it feels fabulous to have so much taken care of...thanks to Mom and Dustin this process has really been enjoyable.

Hope you all had a wonderful weekend/spring break!

xoxo

N

Hollow to Hem

Someone should've told me how cold it is in MO and I would've kept my ass in the south! I was stunned to see a dusting of snow when I came into three hours' distance of Columbia, but utterly shocked when it came thrashing down on my car in most of the states I passed through yesterday on my way home.

But home I arrived and Mom informed me my wedding gown cannot be ordered until they have my "hollow to hem" measurement. I like the sound of that...hollow to hem almost as much as I like the use of italics. I bet you wouldn't have guessed that about me, given my penchant for emboldening words and phrases in my blogs, but I really really dig italics and try to reserve them. After I got off the phone with Connie and assuring her I'd find someone who could accurately measure my "hollow to hem," I found myself seeking out other usages for this phrase. What else can I use "hollow to hem" to describe? Any ideas?

What if I used it in lieu of the word "blessings?" For example, "Don't count your hollow to hem too soon!" Or if it could be used instead of "to and fro" or some other sort of phrase that means that. For example: "I've been running from hollows to hems all day trying to find this Christmas gift for my brother..." Any other creative uses for my new favorite phrase???

So I'm home and the house is taking on a festive Christmas atmosphere, albeit it a little crowded round the living room corners, but nothing that can't be switched up a bit. Birds happily chirped me awake, Bogey and Byz were thrilled to be free from their car-prison and I was bursting with joy at being reacquainted with my Fi. 

This morning, I read a book, unpacked the car and caught up on some blogs. Within moments, I will be putting my students' grades into Blackboard so they can stop hounding me about them and then I will try to find last night's episode of Gossip Girl to watch. I told Dustin Bart Bass was going to die. This meant little to him since he wasn't positive as to who, precisely, Bart Bass was...but he's a good sport and checked out my suspicions online after the show and confirmed them. Whew! Thank God for Dustin!

Lastly, before we lengthen our 25 Songs of Christmas List, I just wanted to clarify. I do thoroughly dislike that song "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" for multiple reasons.

1-It seems dirty to imagine "Santa" kissing anyone outside of his jolly Mrs. Claus counterpart-which means she'd have to be red-faced, squinty-laughter eyed, round, grey, short and dressed in red. No Mommy looks like that.

2. I do NOT like how it takes children's intelligence for granted. This image of mommy kissing Santa leaves only a few options-either Mommy is cheating on Daddy with Santa Claus (dirty!!!) or Daddy is dressed up like Santa and that's why Mommy is playing tonsil hockey with him by the Christmas tree while the kids are upstairs supposedly sleeping.

Doesn't that just live a very UN-Christmasy feeling in your heart? It's enough to dredge up the cool black heart of a certain Mr. Grinch that may make an appearance somewhere down the line in our Top 25 Countdown.

For the next installment in our list, tune in later today! Until then, it's good to be home and I hope you all had a fabulous Thanksgiving break. Remember, 24 days 'til Christmas so you better starting counting your hollows to hems.

xoxo

N

Still Giving Thanks

I am in love with my dresses! I know this sounds weird, but it's finally come to the point where I have chosen three dresses I adore (two are quite similar) and am waiting to find out what the bridal salon can and can't get in for me. As I mentioned, I'm stressed about this wedding gown issue! Six months to get it in and a week to find it (my own fault for living in the middle of nowhere!). However, I had a major breakdown yesterday. When we got home last night, my mom told me she thinks I'm "overweight" and I thought I'd either cry my face off or starve myself for the next six months, but earlier the women at the bridal salons and other customers made me feel amazing about my appearance (unsolicitedly and without knowing that in less than a few hours time, their compliments were going to come in handy since my mom's comment burst my momentary "feel good about my appearance" mood) me I looked fab in every single dress I put on that it must be impossible for me to pick one and another mother of a bride said I had a "perfect model's body!" I know that's not accurate, but at the point I was at yesterday, I needed to hear something that superficial about myself :) I must mention and say thank you to other near-strangers that have helped me earn back a little of my self-esteem after the thoughtless Mom-comment. In her defense, I don't think she can help it. She and my sister are tiny. I mean, zero or less than that, so to them, I'm huge: tall and heavy...etc. It was a bitch growing up with them and their tininess! So, needless to say, I was in a very bad mood when I went to bed last night. Thank you, Fi, for the wonderful words of encouragement in your blog and on the phone. I miss you tremendously and am VERY excited to see you tomorrow! Wooohooooooooooo!

On to the Great Gown Search Part Two!

My lovely sisters, darling niece and Mom accompanied me on an outing to Savannah. The first bridal store we went to was called BleuBelle Bridal and it had the most incredible sales women. We climbed up a few stories in a historic old Savannah building, all wood floors and taller-than-the-sky ceilings. The gallery was stunning and so were the gowns! I tried on a bunch of absolutely gorgeous ones and left the store thinking I had found what I wanted. While we perused dress racks, I got to wander the store in a luxe white robe, white heels with a glass of champagne. Does it get any better than that? Plus, the color of much of their store (blue) was the exact shade of blue Fi and I have picked as one of our wedding colors. We dig the blue and brown combo: elegant, a touch conservative, but fun and classy, too. We love the sophisticated combo of the two colors and blue has been my favorite color forever, so it seemed rather appropriate that the store I thought I found my dress in used the color as it's motif!

When we finished at BleuBelle Bridal, we headed down to another store and tried more dresses. This place, however, was crammed with dresses. We struggled just to separate them from one another on the racks! It was like being at a department sale that's liquidating and trying to get rid of everything at once: a nightmare. We tried some stuff, but no one helped, no questions went answered, and we left feeling hungry and disappointed. Major credit goes out to my adorable three and a half-year old niece who was such a trooper. She never complained and even tried on a few flower girl dresses for us. It was awesome and she is truly the best kid I know.

Then we ate and I grew exhausted and overwhelmed. Everything started meshing together in my mind. I didn't like the dresses in the photos my mom and sisters took of me with them on as much as I thought I did. Dresses I thought I didn't like as much, I liked more all of a sudden and I was just a mess of confusion. Then Mom dropped the overweight comment and I thought Fi and I should seriously consider eloping. Luckily, he calmed me down and all kinds of rationale flooded back to me as I curled up on the couch to sleep. (Don't ask why I had to sleep on the couch when there are five fully furnished bedrooms in the house...it's just too ridiculous to get into!) When I woke this morning, I felt better about the whole situation.

The sisters and I went to a place called "All About Me" for my hair-trial and make-up appointment (keep in mind, I have to do this stuff any chance I get when I'm in town since it's rare and I don't know when I'll be back to the island from one month to the next and time's not getting any slower!). We all had mani-pedis together, which was relaxing, and sipped on mimosas. Again, another much-needed day of destressing.

The woman who did my hair was wonderfully happy to make any alterations and work with me on any and everything I wanted done and the woman who did my make-up used to do the make-up for runway models in New York. She was amazing. My sisters, Mom, brothers and dad all thought the make-up looked incredibly soft, natural and enhancing. (My family has a knack for honesty!) She did a wonderful job of listening to what I did and didn't like and understanding that I'm an idiot when it comes to make-up but that I did not want to look like a clown or someone that didn't resemble me.

When the day ended, I pulled up photos of the dresses I liked most, widdled down the list and have finally decided on three definites. As in-I would be happy with any of these three because they are all stunning and beautiful...I think, anyhow.

I got in touch with the bridal store and they are getting me more info on the dresses and then we'll be all set! Plus, they're having a twenty-percent off all their dresses sale, which technically ended yesterday, but that they've extended to me for as long as it takes for me to decide (which has to be now).

Ok-rambling. Anyhow, my sister-in-law Seale and I went to the Tanger outlets to try and get some Christmas shopping done and were incredibly successful. I'm nearly finished with everyone on my side of the family-and done with Fi for his birthday (December 18th!) and Christmas! I'm so happy about how productive it went and the stores weren't even crowded. It was truly the best shopping experience I've ever had so soon after Thanksgiving.

It's been a great week with the family and I am going to miss them like crazy when I leave, but I have to admit, I currently miss Dustin like crazy. It's ridiculous! It'll be wonderful to be home to see him and finish up the semester.

Today, since I missed yesterday, I'm thankful for all of the blessings I have in my life daily and that every day of my life is filled with happiness and love. And, of course, I'm thankful to all of you for reading-even when these blogs are mundane or less-than-exciting. You're all quite wonderful, if you don't mind me saying!

I leave you all with a photo montage of my family as it is tonight and some from Thanksgiving since I didn't share it with you earlier. Happy Thanksgiving, still! :)

dress shopping -- groom's take

Dustin here.

Tonight my whole family and I went to see Bolt -- a good flick, we agreed -- but during the show I got a call from Neesh. She's having a bad day. Wedding dress shopping has her stressed out. She says the fun is fading.

I talked to her a little bit in the lobby, and later, too, after the movie was over and we were home. Even if I knew the first thing about fabric, texture, design, lighting ... any of those things, I wouldn't be much help because, as the groom, I'm not allowed to see the dress, much less her in the dress, before the big day (June 13, everybody!).

But I want Neesha to remember, always, that she would look beautiful in a burlap sack, and while the dress is important and a thing we'll always remember, when those chapel doors open to reveal her standing in the aisle, the whole place is going to light up whether the dress is shiny or not.

Neesh, you're gorgeous, radiant, dazzling and splendid. You melt my heart in my chest. Sometimes I look at you and I almost start to cry because you're so beautiful. So sleep on it, and tomorrow think about it some more and pick a dress you like. Just keep in mind that it's only the lampshade, not the light.

Adventures in Gowning

Mom and I headed to Charlotte on Sunday and dress shopped til we nearly dropped yesterday evening. I have to say, this has not gotten easier. The problem with shopping for a wedding gown is that they're all gorgeous. It's not as if you put on dress after dress and think, 'Wow. What a hideous dress!' until you finally come across one that you think is beautiful and say, "Finally! A beautiful dress instead of all those horrendous ones! I knew there'd be ONE!" If only it WERE that easy. Instead, for two days straight, my mother and I woke up as early as possible, hit the very first bridal appointment possible and continued from one store to the next until the day was done. My brilliant Mom did think to keep a small portion of time between places to 1-find the next place and 2-grab some Starbucks. Below are a few of the dresses we tried that did not make the final cut:

This dress was from a place called New York Bridal Loft. I forget who designed it, but there were sort of a lot of things I didn't love about it: the straps were weird, the lace wasn't consistent or just what I was thinking of when I thought I'd like lace...and, overall, I just didn't love it. There were a few dresses we tried on at this place. While the location and setup were super cool, the dresses weren't as flattering as I'd hoped.
This dress, however, was made by Cymbeline. I saw it in a magazine soon after Fi and I got engaged and I immediately fell in love with it. This pic really doesn't do it justive. It has this incredible old-lace look to it with really carefully made patters. The train had some beading on it so it was a bit heavier at the bottom. The entire dress was lace over a silk slip with a thin satin sash at the empire waist, a sweetheart neckline...etc. This was my dream dress and while I adored the dress just as much in person as I did when I saw it in the magazine...and although I'm just as in love with it, if not more now, than I was then...it wasn't my dress. I can't pull it off and I didn't love it on me. I know I could go on a serious diet from now until our wedding and I'd be able to pull it off, but that's really not what I want to do. I don't want the next six-seven months of my life to be about fitting into a dress and hoping it's going to look great...etc. I have other things to worry about and dozens of gorgeous dresses that won't require me to starve myself for months so I look fab. So while I adored it, I finally had to put the Cymbeline dress of perfection dream to rest. I am, however, thrilled I got to try it on, again, at the same NYBL location. It turned out, when Mom and I left the NYBL that what I loved most on me was their adorable changing robe with faux fur at the neckline and wrists...white and very sophisticated looking!

From there, we moved on to two more stores. J. Majors and Hayden Olivia. Both pretty wonderful, though Hayden Olivia had a swankier, posher feel to it. A big reason for that is most likely because Heather (the owner) took wonderful care of her sample dresses (she is the sole owner and pays for everything herself so I suppose she values her samples more). Every dress looked perfect, as if it'd just come off the runway. And in one case, I was the very first person to try on one of her samples as it had just come in that day!

The dress to my left was one Mom adored. While it was beautiful, it was super conservative and felt really mature for my age. I suppose this dress taught me that I wanted something a little more fun.

I did, however, find one of the two dresses I've narrowed it down to at Hayden Olivia which is located in uptown Charlotte down the street from where my brother and cousin live. The funny thing about Heather's store is that she's on the second floor and the first floor, right below her, is home to a male grooming store. Needless to say, when we were looking for Heather's store it was rather confusing.

<---- This is Heather's awesome store, named after her daughter, btw, and these are a handful of the spectacular dresses I tried on. I can't believe how amazing they all are! I found out that a few of the samples I tried were actually dresses celebrities wore for their weddings and I suddenly felt rocketed into the realms of superstardom. Weird, right? Somehow, I doubt I'll be wearing one of those dresses, but when else do you get to try on dresses worn by the rich and famous!?!

And this, of course, is a classic photo of mom and I trying to figure out one of the dresses. I can't remember if I was getting in or out, but I am pretty sure it was in. Obviously, it takes a lot of work to get into one of these suckers. I think this is one of many reasons why a person should only get married once.

Lastly, we went to J. Majors which also had a dress I loved. It is one of the dresses in contention. There is a third dark horse, as well, from the very first store we went into called Nitsas. I actually dragged my mother back to that store to retry the dress...and while I still love it and think it's gorgeous and even think it sort of looks good on me (that's a hard sentence for me to type or say aloud, folks!), I wonder if it's not Wedding Dress to Remember dress. Like...wow, that dress is beautiful! as opposed to the other two which were more like, "WOW! Now that's a dress and that bride looks amazing!"

I think another thing the trying on has taught me is this: I'm perfectly comfortable with what I look like, enough so as to not be interested in doing everything possible to fit into this one, specific dress that I saw in a magazine because I'm comfortable with me and I think my wedding dress should look amazing on me as I am and only look even more phenomenal when I get myself into better shape. I don't think it should be that the dress will only look fabulous if I work really really really hard to help it look that way on me. What a disappointment it'd be if, even then, I wasn't thrilled with it!

Also, it taught me that, all clothes look better when they're custom fitted :)

And that I've got more of an idea now as to what type of a bride I am (I had no idea how to answer that when people used to ask. I even took the quizzes and they were completely unhelpful!).

I have tons more pics and stories...etc...about our adventures and more to come since my sisters, mom and I are going to Savannah to check out a few dresses there on Friday, but I'm kind of sick since my niece and nephew and mom...and everyone, really, has a cold. I'm starting to get it and still have the Turkey Trot tomorrow morning with my brother! I've been taking Vitamin C and some weird thing that starts with a "Z" and Claritin...advil...etc...in hopes of staving off the cough, sore throat and congested head. So, now I can't think straight enough to tell you about anything else at the moment, dear friends, but I promise more updates and pics to follow in the days to come.

Tonight, I am thankful for the optimistic outlook I have managed to begin nourishing in myself thanks to Dustin. I was never very patient or optimistic, but Dustin has managed to teach me (through example) how useful and wonderful it is to be both of those things. Also, I'm thankful for my family coming together for this holiday. Lastly, I'm thankful for the family we have in India's safety.

If you're of the praying kind, please do so for the people of Mumbai/Bombay. A year ago at this exact time, my parents and I were about to depart on a plane for Bombay. I'm thankful that is not the case this year, but so sad to see what's happening only one year after our visit.

Wedding Dress, Anyone?

Monday  Night: Mom and I went wedding gown shopping today! Wow!!! Sooooooo much fun!  I was so afraid I wouldn't find a single dress that I loved. When we got to the first bridal store, I picked out a ton of dresses I thought I'd be in love with...some were ones we specifically asked them to get from different designers whose lines I liked, others were just attractive on the displays, some were ones I was perfectly certain I'd want. What I quickly learned was 1-I wasn't in love with most of the dresses I thought I'd be in love with 2-dresses look waaaaaay better once they've been fitted snugly to your figure 3-I will NEVER wear the same size wedding dress as what I wear clothing.

I found one dress I keep thinking about. I think it might be the one but I found a few others I like a lot and still need to figure out about. Ugh!!! I want to post pics and have everyone help me out, but I can't because Fi might be reading or even (hopefully) posting a blog at any give moment!!!

So...mom and I headed to the mall to do some Christmas shopping when we were finally done trying on dresses. I needed a new pair of running shoes and I got these fab Saucony ones that I think will be absolutely durable, supportive and cushioned...and yet a reasonable price! Who knew!?!

The only issue with my night was getting into an argument with my MOH...who is also my sister. I don't want to get into details. I do want to say, I'm sorry we argued. I hate arguing. I hold no ill feelings since I don't hold a grudge for more than twenty minutes (less, really) and I love love LOVE my sister no matter how different from me she is.

Again: what I'm thankful for:

Tonight, I'm actually pretty thankful for being true to myself. I'm thankful I'm honest and able to accept people's honesty. I'm so thankful my priorities are 1-family 2-friends 3-school...etc...and that I have friends and family and students that make my life feel so fulfilling. I am SO soooooo thankful that my life is as full and wonderful as it is. I'm even more thankful that my parents brought me up the way they did...all of us, that is.

So, thanks, Mom and Pop for being so fantastic. And thanks family for being so supportive and loving and thanks D for being the love of my life :) As every night, I'm thankful for Fi...and tonight...I'm thankful for all my priorities, too! 

xoxo