First Installment of "Things We Hate and Why"

Phone Calls From a Bar

D and I hate it when people call to chat from a bar. It always makes for a weird situation. Let me give you an example:

"Hello!"  says caller.

"Hello?" says me (mind you, thanks to caller ID I'm aware of who's on the other line, but because it's so loud on his or her end of the phone-because he or she is at a bar-I can't hear them and am, therefore, uncertain as to whether it is, in fact, who I think it is or if it's a friend of his or her's who has gotten hold of his/her's phone and is now calling me on it to play a joke).

"Hey. It's me. What're you doing?"

"What?"Ordinarily, this is the moment where I start raising my voice, too.

"WHAT ARE YOU DO-ING?" caller shouts.

"I'm hanging out at home. Going to bed soon."

"WHAT?" 

Now I'm yelling, too, and at this point in my life I've figured out that I can speak using my 'indoor voice' and be heard just fine since there is no background noise coming into the caller's ear from my end to muffle my speech, but I've already forgotten this and have resorted to yelling back. "I'M GO-ING TOOO BED-uh!" (the "be-duh" is for emphasis on the "D")

"Ohhh. I'm at the bar with (insert two familiar names and at least one unfamiliar name here). We're playin..."

Having remembered about the indoor voice I go back to it, "You're playing what?"

"Insert indecipherable word here."

"What? I can't hear you."

"Insert indecipherable word again."

About to give up and now sitting exasperatedly on my bed, "What?"

"POOL!"

Pool! Yes! I know that one. "Pool?"

"Yes, pool."

And so the convo goes. We having a sneaking suspicion everyone hates this, right??? Anyhow, it frustrates me for a variety of reasons. One is the obvious one above. Two is that I, too, would like to be out at a bar somewhere on a Friday night but can't be because I have spent the day running errands or some such foolery and am now too tired to find someone to go to a bar with...plus then I'd need a ride home or to be the DD, plus the friends I have who aren't married would want to leave themselves open to be approached by guys and I don't want to be a wingman (wingwoman?). You get the point. It's just not ideal. Have I mentioned yet that, really, I hate that it sounds like the person calling me is having a really great time while I'm hanging out with my fur-children? See what I mean? Kinda makes my life look a little dull all of a sudden! Those of you who have been in this position (I'd venture a guess it's many of you, right?) know what I'm saying.

But wait...don't confuse this with drunk dialing and leaving messages. My friend Cady leaves the greatest drunk messages ever. They go something like this:

"Neesha. It's Cady (pronounced: Caddie as a joke from Mean Girls, of course). When I woke up this morning my pants were in the kitchen, my shoe was in the bathroom sink, my other was in bed with me and I couldn't find my glasses. Have you seen my glasses? I had them on in the pictures I took from last night, then all of a sudden. Well. They're just not there anymore. I'm glad you didn't answer your phone so I could just tell you this. I miss you. Let me know if you find my glasses. I'm going back to bed."

See what I mean?

She has the system down to a science, too. It's just about formulaic: she calls and leaves the messages either so late that she knows I'm sound asleep and won't answer my phone even if I do hear it or she calls so early that she knows I won't yet be awake. I love them so much I save them in my voicemail so I can listen to them whenever I need a good laugh or just miss Cady-she lives in Pittsburgh :(

To sum up: Loud bar calls where conversation is expected from us if we answer the phone-BAD. Drunk dialed voicemails-INVITED and AWESOME. It makes us (me) feel thought of even when you are a bit tipsy. Sign of true care and friendship, right?

Thanks for reading our first installment of "Things We Hate and Why." Keep an eye out for the next one entitled: Second Installment of "Things We Hate and Why."

Hope your New Year is still going splendidly!

xoxo

N

PS-Cady, if you're reading-it's time for a new message!