Friday, April 16, 2010


Missouri has these giant gashes in its flesh. Literally, the ground does. Like an earthquake rippled through beneath my grass and cracked the ground in pieces of dry skin.

I have finally found a navy blue cardigan I can love again. I had one once. 3/4 length sleeves from J. Crew and I adored it. Then it grew holes and Mom tossed it out with the trash. It has taken me a year to find a new one. I love it so much I'm afraid to wear it into a state of holes like the last. It still has the tags on.

The strawberries I planted a year ago are alive. They made it through the winter and even through the neglect I offered instead of keeping the ground around it cleared and weeded. As if to spite me, it has blossoms, but I don't know what that means yet. Are white blossoms on a strawberry plant good?

Bogey puts his paws together, as a human might put their fists together, tightly waded, the laces of fingers facing and pressing against one another. I imagine he does this in prayer or meditation.

My writing ability

has been 




  1. Love the cardigan note - I have clothes like that where once they're replaced i'm scared to use them as much - but that was the whole point? Such a catch-22! I'm not sure about the blossoms, but think it's sweet that you kept your SBs alive! That's so sweet about Bogey - take a pic! :)

    Take care girl and YES you are one of my first readers, girl! I don't know how you found me either, but i'm glad you did!

  2. Strawberries having white blossoms is a sign of great promise! Means not only are they alive, but they're producing berries. My plants are also snowy with blooms, and I'm excited too! You can mulch them with straw or with pine needles, according to my grandmother who used to grow really awesome berry rows. And I grow my berries in big pots, because I am not a fan of bending low to pick them. But I am kind of a curmudgeon that way.

    I feel your pain as far as feeling that your writing ability is suffering as of late. It's like every idea I manage to crystallize doesn't quite make it ... like I'm cooking sugar and butter into toffee but it just will not set. And it tastes okay, I guess, but it wasn't what I was aiming for and emotions run high and the pots are dirty and you're out seven bucks for ingredients and ... I think I was going somewhere with this.

    Hang in there, Neesha. You and Dustin both. You're doing wonderful things, setting yourselves on your paths, and you will get going one day soon. Just ... just remember that. Also, I will take my own advice. Yes. Stranger things have happened. I'm thinking of you.